Longing

Longing-
A yearning desire that overwhelms the soul,
a begging for something more,
the missing piece to the puzzle that makes it whole.
Measured by an aching deep inside the bones,
or a hunger within that is never completely satisfied,
it's as though the sustenance simply sustains but never seems to ease
the discomfort of a stomach that groans and groans.
It's an appetite for more than what already exists,
and an eagerness for that which hasn't come to be.
It's a vision for what lies in the distance,
and the craving to bring it into view
where the details are clear and plain to see.
It's the reaching out for a hand to hold, but all you grasp is air.
It's the yearning for better days ahead that keeps you from despair.
An unsettling feeling of "if only", and a determination to just hold on,
we all feel a great sense of longing for what we had and what is gone.
We long for that which we've never had- it's the stuff that fills our dreams.
It's a hope that tomorrow is really brighter than it seems.
We long for grace and to see the face of the One who calms our every anxious thought.
We long for peace, and rest, and a sense that we truly belong
even when we feel like we do not.
With me in my longing, oh, Satisfier of my every need,
help me trust that you hold my life in your hand as I follow where You lead.

Called By Name

I stopped by Walgreens during my lunch hour yesterday, because where else in the world can you buy a pack of 8 soft-baked cookies for $1? Anyways, as I finished checking out, the cashier, a middle-age woman named Kathy, handed me my receipt and kindly said, “Thank you, Amanda.”

It was the simplest gesture, but it took me by surprise, rendering me frozen for what was most certainly, and most awkwardly, too long. “She knows my name,” I thought, as I stood there not taking the receipt from this woman. Forgetting that my name and information would have flashed upon her screen after I swiped my debit card to pay for the aforementioned $1 cookies, it really was a sweet moment that I have continued to think about. I’m sure that Kathy probably thanks all of her customers by name, but there was a sincerity about her that truly made me feel like a unique individual and not just another customer in line. 

When I got back to my office, I made a conscious effort to learn the names of the students and prospective students who stopped by the One Stop Center. Not that I wanted to conduct an experiment (I definitely wanted to conduct an experiment) to see how differently people respond when they feel known by their actual name instead of the labels that we assign to them, but the results were amazing. I’m convinced that there’s something great that happens whenever we slow down enough to make connections with those that we interact with. I’m also convinced that even more than most of the things that people want in life, a sense of being known and seen ranks high.

We could all just take this as a lesson on good customer service and move on, but I can’t help but be reminded that someone else knows my name. Someone else knows your name. Someone else knows the name of the man who sits alone under an overpass in the heat of the summer. Someone else knows the name of the girl who has been treated badly for years, being called many names, but never her own. Someone else knows the name of the child who waits for the day that they can answer to another name as “son” or “daughter.” Someone else knows the name of the bully at school, the grown-up version of the bully at school, the world’s cruelest criminal, your sweet grandmother, your neighbor who’s name you don’t even know, your cashier at Walgreens, and the name of every human being who has ever lived or will live in this world. The God of the universe knows my name. He knows my name!

Scripture tells us that God knew us before we were ever formed. It is mentioned in various places how He calls us by name and how we are His. Even more, He knows literally everything about us, even the things that we don’t know yet, and He still desires for us to reside within His presence moment by moment, every single day. What an incomprehensible devotion! When I consider how He knows my name, it becomes easier to lose the made up names that I give myself and the ones that the world gives me. Being made in His image, in the image of a God who calls me by name, I can replace all of the untrue names that have been assigned to me with ones that He has given me. I can take on names like Victorious, Redeemed, Blessed, Chosen, Fearfully and Wonderfully Made, Overcomer, Loved, and Precious In His Sight. So, when Satan, The Father of Lies, tries to distance us from God, The Father of Light, by stealing our confidence and replacing our God-given names with names like- Failure, Not Good Enough, Unredeemable, Rejected, Ugly…the list goes on, it’s important to remember that He is literally full of it. 

The Ultimate Accuser might constantly make it hard for us to live in The Light, but he won’t win. My God has already taken care of that. How sweet it is to be known, called, and treasured by a God who fights for us consistently and constantly! May we all seek to make connections and genuinely know the people around us by name in such a way that our interactions reflect back to The Name Above All Names.

Response To His Victory

Throw off your cardigans and coats.
Throw them onto the streets.
Cut the freshest of palm branches from the nearest of trees.
Roll out a soft carpet of your clothes and leaves.
Prepare a cushioned path to greet Him.
Stand in line to meet Him.
It's no red carpet, but I'll do what I can.
"Hosanna," we'll all shout to honor the Son of Man!
A triumphant entrance from The King of The World,
the very same One who would be bruised and beaten,
and mocked as insults were hurled.
The sky turns from light to a darkness unexplainable
as my Savior, the ultimate propitiation and forgiver of my sinful situation,
takes your place, takes my place;
takes the very fate of the entire world,
making life eternal attainable.
What a notion!
Suddenly it becomes clear
what is meant by His kingdom,
and by His kingdom here.
And now The Author and Perfector asks me,
imperfect me, to authenticate my devotion
as I consider how He loves with so much more than emotion.
Complete devotion He gave and gave;
caused quite a commotion when in three days He left that grave,
and now He sits enthroned, and all glory belongs to Him alone.
Throw off your guilt and shame.
Throw off the cloak of sin that entangles and holds you back.
It's like a straightjacket.
Embrace the power of a conquering Christ.
Whatever you need, He doesn't lack it.
A triumphant victory like no other; He beckons me
to lay down a path before Him
as I greet Him with an expression of gratitude and praise.
No greater love have I ever known.
I will honor Him for all of my days.

Untitled

When one of us hurts, oh, we all feel the weight of it.
When the world cries out, oh, we all know the state of it.
When the rain won't stop and the flood waters ascend,
When the hate is too much 
and it seems like nothing can mend,
When sickness invades, and poverty remains, 
and the killing is relentless,
What can we do to steady our souls 
in the dark of the night?
Should I wave the white flag or fight the good fight?
You restore my soul.
You restore my soul back to your light again.
Back to your light again is where I need to be.
When darkness surrounds 
and I can't make sense of it all,
Strengthen my heart; make steady my feet.
You lift my head, and you make me stand tall.
As I stand tall again, your grace rushes in, 
reminding me that you hold all things.
In the palms of your hands you hold your mighty plans.
You're in control, and, though, I don't understand,
You've never let me down in all of my days.
When I thought that you did, I wasn't trusting your ways.
I get wrapped in the evil that seems to invade 
on this side of the sun.
Grant me your eyes to see the work to be done.
Grant me fortitude to do the hard work, 
to look at my life and to see what it's worth.
Grant me the care to see the worth of another.
Because, when one of us hurts, 
oh, we all feel the weight of it.
Take "Courage, Dear Heart", 
and may my heart become made of it.


10/11/2017

Two Steps Forward

Uninspired, feeling tired…

No desire, no spark, no fire, waking up to the daily drudgery that is this life.

What a sad state of affairs! What a dark cloud everyone bears!

Like sly little foxes, we try to check all the right boxes.

Like, “I did a good deed today.”

“Yep. I took a minute to pray.”

But, even the slyest of foxes gets caught in a trap.

It’s like navigating with no road signs or a map.

Someone’s bound to get lost.

I try to keep up appearances, but at what cost?

Two steps forward and then it seems I get knocked down.

I get knocked down on my knees 

as the chaos of a loud mind,

with all of its buzzing and humming

is whirring around like a swarm of bees.

Take captive every thought before your thoughts take you.

Made brand new…

Each morning, new mercies appear,

yet I’m full of fear.

Two steps forward.

The first is courage.

The second is freedom.

Walking in freedom, I can see the sun begin to shine.

Victory is mine. It’s never tasted so sweet.

Called Victorious because of Your great defeat.

Two steps forward.

I’m not wasting anymore time.

Two steps forward.

You lift my head.

Two steps forward.

Am I even moving? Are my feet made of lead?

Two steps forward.

I trust that You’re near.

Two steps forward.

Make my feet swift like a deer.

One step and I’ll gather my courage.

One more step and I can see the path up ahead.

Two steps forward.

I remember what You said.

You go before me.

Two steps forward and the chaos is quieted.

It must be quiet before the Holy One holding all things together.

Like a change in the weather, 

a breath of fresh air that fills my lungs,

I find freedom from frailty as I see where my help comes from.

Two steps forward.

8/21/2017

This Is Me

This is me.

Small child, sitting on Grandma’s knee as she sang “hide it under a bushel.”

No way I’d be telling stories about it now;

No way I’d be talking about how

love came down for me without a hand constantly guiding me.

Left to my own devices, I find myself in a state of constant crisis,

a juggling act as I balance what I want and what He wants for me.

This is me.

A cornucopia of the finest is before me,

but I keep reaching for the fruit from the wrong tree.

Brother and sister, we never really fought-

spent Sundays listening to a man tell us that our lives had been bought,

and now we live not for ourselves but for the one who’s image we bear.

I still remember that day we stood in the water at the front of the church.

We both were baptized. J went first.

I had a childlike faith, but I also behaved just like a child.

This is me.

I’d be laughing with my friends in the church pew- third row on the left.

Grandma would turn and give me that stare.

I’d straighten up, especially when Grandpa would start to 

lead the congregation in prayer.

I took it for granted sometimes.

Oh what a life!

My biggest obstacles were the ones that I created 

when I confused truths for lies.

In an effort to fit in, I would go with the flow.

I’d just nod in agreement, instead of seeking counsel from the wise.

“But, I’m a good person”, I’d remind myself so much.

I read the Bible, but I wouldn’t share its good news, 

using fear and shyness as a crutch.

This is me.

At 17 and summertime, sitting in a large room, full of kids and leaders-

someone walked up and said I had a call.

It was one of those times when your heart hurts for your loved ones

and you wish you could be there with them all.

Moments later, walking back inside, 

a hundred voices sang a song that calmed me as I cried.

There is just something about a word fitly spoken-

the kind that are used to gently lift the broken.

It was a moment where the peace that passes understanding, 

that I’d heard about before,

overwhelmed me while I fell, and provided a soft, cushioned landing.

I never felt such a nearness in all of my days,

and it was then that I knew I had no choice but to fully surrender to His ways.

This is me.

I followed my brother to college.

I thought I had acquired all of the knowledge to get along in this world,

but I still questioned my purpose.

If my life had been bought, 

and now I live not for myself but for the one who’s image I bear,

why do I feel so worthless?

Sitting in an upstairs room, full of college students and leaders,

I heard a man read a verse from the book of Jeremiah.

I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh as he read,

“For I know the plans I have for you…”

I had heard it all before. It wasn’t anything new.

I wrestled and argued for years inside,

“Show me Your plans if that really is true!”

Seeking approval and clear-cut pathways, 

I clearly missed the point of it all.

I’d asked for His guidance, but failed at abidance.

Holding on to things that made sense to me, I couldn’t see

that He was laying out opportunity after opportunity 

for me to see His hand in things.

I tried in different ways to make my heart content,

and I still find myself trying today, because my heart is naturally bent.

Naturally bent to go my own way,

when I don’t seek Him every day,

I play the comparison game.

Then I’m reminded

that my life has been bought through His death on a cross.

I count it all as loss,

Because He said that I was worth it.

In all of my shortcomings;

in all of my scrambling to do something with this life,

He takes such great care.

All of my burdens He will surely bare for me just as He has promised.

I find solace from the Psalmist.

“Return to your rest, my soul,

for the Lord has been good to you.

For you, Lord, have delivered me from death,

my eyes from tears,

my feet from stumbling,

that I may walk before the Lord

in the land of the living.”

This is me.

This is where I’ve landed,

But I never really land.

In times of doubt,

I’m reminded that He holds each of us in the palm of His hand.

(Jer. 29:11, Psalm 116:7-9, Phil. 3:8)

Nov. 28 "Humble and Kind"

My grandfather would have been 82 today.

When he passed away in April, I tried to gather my thoughts and share them in a way that would both make him proud and clearly explain his character and influence in my life. I have a propensity to lean toward poetry as a means of expression, and over the last several months, I’ve tried writing a phrase here and there. I’ve attempted to describe how he would always start his prayers in exactly the same way. I’ve penned a line or two about his Sunday morning wake-up songs. 

At the time, in my adolescence, I didn’t appreciate that “the corn was as high as an elephant’s eye…” There were so many days that started with “Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh, what a beautiful day! I’ve got a beautiful feeling everything’s going my way!” Sometimes I wonder how my childhood and teenage years would have been different if I had embraced more of my grandpa’s steady optimism from the moment the sun came up.

 I’ve attempted to string together some words that would flow and describe the way he would always suggest that Grandma stop for ice cream after picking me up from school. I’ve typed a snippet about how creative and talented he was. He would beam with pride after finishing a project. From wooden nativity scenes and Christmas lawn decorations that he labored over for weeks to the panda bear paper towel holder created just for me, it was a joy to watch him build and create. I’ve wanted to mention something about finding Bibles with the little Gideon symbol on the corner in the drawers at hotels, or about seeing tiny New Testament Bibles placed in random public locations, and how he played a part in putting them there and into the hands of so many people in his lifetime.

 I struggled with expressing how I felt that Alzheimer’s had robbed him of the last part of his life. The man who used to stand at his front door to greet me with a “Well, here comes ol’ Amander” as I walked the short distance from my parent’s house, also spent many of his last days quietly sitting in a chair looking out the big living room window into the front yard, where a variety of birds would gather to snag some seeds from the birdhouses and feeders. I remember his daily routine of filling those birdfeeders, mindful to make sure there was enough for any bird that landed to have its share. As I have attempted to formulate something that would accurately describe all of the things that made my grandpa so great, I have consistently felt like words are inadequate. I think that is why it has taken me so long to express my gratitude for him.

On the day that he passed away, I was riding in a car with one of my very best friends and Tim McGraw’s “Humble and Kind” started playing on the radio. It was the first time I heard the song. I was overwhelmed by the lyrics and I had a strong feeling that two words in this song perfectly described my grandpa: humble and kind. The chorus says,

“Hold the door, say 'please', say 'thank you.' 

Don’t steal, don’t cheat, and don’t lie.

I know you’ve got mountains to climb, 

but always stay humble and kind. 

When the dreams your dreaming come to you, 

when the work you put in is realized,

let yourself feel the pride, but always stay humble and kind.”

More than anything, my grandpa taught me to love God and to make every effort to love His people. He taught me the importance of supporting those you love, the importance of lending a helping hand whenever you can, and the importance of having humility in every situation that comes your way.

My family would gather often for reunions and several would meet together for a time of singing and worship. We always sang a hymn that will forever be one of my favorites. We sang the same hymn at my grandpa’s funeral. My prayer is that we would take on this idea of togetherness that the lyrics below describe, and that each of us will do what we can, with what we have, with where we are to lift up our brothers and sisters, and not tear down the people in our lives.

“You will notice we say "brother and sister" 'round here,
It's because we're a family and these are so near;
When one has a heartache, we all share the tears,
And rejoice in each victory in this family so dear.
I'm so glad I'm a part of the Family of God,
I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed by His blood!
Joint heirs with Jesus as we travel this sod,
For I'm part of the family,
The Family of God.”

As I share a little bit of my grandpa with you, it only makes sense to conclude with a prayer that begins the way that he began every prayer... “Our most gracious Heavenly Father…” Father, I thank you for the life you give. I thank you for my grandpa and that he knew what it meant to really live. Thank you for the examples that you place in all of our lives- the ones who point others back to You. May we learn to use our time well. 
May we consider Tim McGraw’s words and “don’t take for granted the love this life gives you. When you get where you’re going, don’t forget to turn back around and help the next one in line. And always stay humble and kind.”

Love Well

Love is like the deepest well.

Neighbors become a human chain,

linking arms with one another just to reach the water 

to draw a pale for a few to drink.

To ease the pain, to quench the thirst from desert days,

though, weary themselves from the bright sun’s rays,

love is like the one who ushers forth the weary without so much as a blink.

Would you love well at the deepest well?

We all want a drink. We all thirst for satisfaction.

We’ll all get our fill when we grasp that love is an action.

Love well.

AEJ

These Are The Lenses

Do we see the same things?

As if someone took off their glasses and said,

“ These, these are the lenses that we all shall use.”

Given the chance, they are not the ones that you would choose.

You try them on and they just don’t seem right,

but, “these, these are the lenses.”

So, you squint your eyes and ignore the blur- 

because “these are the lenses.”

You fight with your feelings because the reality is that 

we all see the world in different ways.

What if we could see the faces of our loved ones 

in the faces of every stranger that we meet?

Could we make amends and ditch the lens of turning a blind eye,

and, instead, make swift our feet.

Could we remove the lens of being so quick to make a point

that we miss someone else’s point of view?

If unity is the goal, let’s set our sights higher.

I’m convinced there’s more to be done 

in our time here under the sun

than to elevate our own desire to shine 

while our neighbor stands at the end of the line.

Can we see through eyes of grace, 

can compassion ignite the human race to find hope in every day,

Because these are the lenses.

AEJ 7/15/2016

That Awful Crown

On the prowl with the intent to destroy,
he takes my confidence; oh, how he robs me of my joy.
Fully aware of how to bring me down,
a pat on the back as he offers me a shimmering crown.
It takes me back to a church pew- left side, second row,
where I heard, "don't ever give him a foothold..."
I should've known all along that it was fool's gold.
I try to escape, but it all becomes so ordinary-
settling for apathy, instead of a life extraordinary.
Balancing burdens that I was never meant to carry,
while that awful crown weighs me down.
I was never meant to wear it.
I thought I heard a voice call out to me,
but I didn't give it too much merit.
I've listened to so many others lately.
Prone to wander, I feel the weight of it greatly.
I try to lose that crown and get away,
but darkness surrounds at the end of another day.
Would I recognize your call as I look for just a glimmer of light?
Would I stumble and fall if I walk by faith and not by sight?
I can see it now.
There's a shadow breaking in slowly.
There's a hope in the sunrise.
New mercies defeat the lies
with a distinct call that says,
"You. Are. Mine."
He reaches down to remove that awful crown,
and now it's no longer dim.
He lifts my head and directs my sight so that I can look to Him.


AEJ 4/7/2016

I Wish Sometimes

I wish sometimes that I could have it all figured out.
I wish I could say that I march forward everyday and that I never doubt.
To be real, if I told you how I feel,

 you just might not like it.

Like, when I've gone astray, 

and then I struggle when I pray
because I think you don't want to hear me say,

"Lord, I need you" one more time.
Beginning, middle, and end of the story, you know how it goes 

like an old nursery rhyme.
I wish sometimes that my life 

was more of a reflection of your face.
I wish I would stop wishing 

and just fall into your grace.
So amazing, this breath in our lungs!
I'd hate to waste it.

These petty disappointments
somehow render me utterly preoccupied,

and if I told you that I'm not that easily distracted, I'm sorry, but I lied.

When the day grows dim 

but the sky lights up,
stop me in my tracks; 

make me halt so abrupt,
so that I can remember 

how you sought after me
while the sun was still shining bright,
and how you fought for me 

in the dark of the night.
When darkness prevailed, you said,
"This is not the end.
Sorrow may linger, 

but your heart I will mend."
For a little while, 

you might stand in the rain.
For a little while, 

you might feel the pain.
This temporal life can leave you 

broken down.
You might reach for a hand up,
and sometimes it feels like a hand 

won't ever be found.
Keep reaching.
 As I repeat the words you say,
"Do not fear, for I am here; do not dismay for I am your God.
 I will strengthen you and help you.
 I will hold you up with my righteous right hand."

Fearless as a tight-rope walker,

but will you throw out a net to catch me wherever I land?

I wish sometimes I could have it all figured out.

Trusting and abiding;

you show me what "walk by faith"

 is all about. 

AEJ 10/14/15

When It Seems The World Screams

By what standard shall we abide?

In who's trust can we confide?

When it seems the world screams-

"The sky is falling!", 

do we just avert our eyes, 

completely hypnotized by just another

nightly news segment that flashes on a screen?

Do our hearts yet burn within,

a grievance, something fierce, 

for all to be made right again?

Can we fan the flame to make it bright

as we march into a new day, 

and can we still love in a real way
like you showed us to begin with?

Have we become too absorbed with keeping score
that we've missed what really matters?
Self-indulged, self-satisfied,
I serve my criticism on gold platters.
It takes the form of defense.
It takes the form of fear.
It takes the form of laying low.
Why trod into new territory when it's safe to stay
on the fence with nearly everything I know?
By what standard shall we abide?
When it seems the world screams-
"I just want to feel accepted!",
can we all just agree that we've been down that road?
Under a blanket of truth, can we find some grace
and some common ground?
Will it lighten your load if you quit dragging it around,
because it's hard to reach out when your hands are full.
With fresh eyes, let us deeply abide,
throwing off these heaps of hurt and pride.
When it seems the world screams,
may we look with eyes of grace.

AEJ  9/9/2015

For The Love: Review

This is not a poem.

This space usually serves as a place for poetry, so I feel the need to give a disclaimer to my two followers and my Grandma: the following information does not rhyme. It shouldn't leave you confused and left to interpret on your own, questioning-- "What does she really mean by that?", or "Geez, Amanda must be in a dark and twisty place right now..." 

None of that. 

Just an honest review of an excellent book that I would recommend to any living, breathing soul on the planet. Really. There's something for everyone in this book. If you need a laugh, you'll laugh plenty. 
If you need encouragement -slash- a firm "Get going, Pumpkin!", 
you'll find it. 

Back in March, Author/Speaker/Blogger/HGTVer, Jen Hatmaker, offered the world of social media a chance to be a part of the "Launch Team" for her newest book- For The Love. Honestly, I've never been one of those girls that has a constant new stack of reading material, much less, one of those girls who can re-read the same book multiple times, but I decided to jump on board and filled out the application. I have read several of Jen's previous books, blogs, witty Facebook posts, and I have admired her authenticity for several years now, 

so I decided it was worth a shot to be a part of the team.

A few days later, I received an email from the publishing company welcoming me to the For The Love Launch Team. A digital unedited version of Jen's manuscript was sent, and a paper copy was mailed out shortly after. There's 500 of us from across the globe, a Facebook group that has grown into a special place of connection and conversation like I've never seen before, real-life meetups with other team members, and some serious "book club" chatter. 
In a nutshell, many of the components of Jen's book have been displayed, practiced, wrestled with, talked about, and lived out through this process of reading and digesting For The Love alongside this group.

"What are some of those components Jen talks about?"

Without needing to insert the words "SPOILER ALERT" in flashy letters, 
I'll do my best to provide a summary that will do this book justice, for the love!

From the introduction, Jen talks about her love of people. This one sentence helps paint a picture of what can be considered a focus point of the entire book:

"I'm hoping to help lead a tribe that does more healing 
and less hurting."

The end.
Just kidding. Jen unpacks that statement for us like it's her job. 

By starting off with an others-oriented focus that encourages the reader to return to more of a "love-your-neighbor" mentality, Jen sets the tone to encourage grace, remove the unreasonable standards that we put on ourselves and on others, and fosters a sense of unity that can only develop when a group of human beings learn that

"This is why we live and breathe: for the love of Jesus, for the love of our own souls, for the love of our families and people, for the love of our neighbors and this world. This is all that will last. 
Honestly, it is all that matters."

This book covers a wide range of topics, digging deep into struggles such as relationships and difficult people, to a serious urging for people everywhere to widen our lens of understanding in terms of the gospel message (Since there's an entire world out there, and the American evangelical version of the gospel and the actual gospel are rarely the same thing). Jen also brings up the search for a "calling" while keeping this broadened view of the gospel and asking questions that reshape the entire outlook on Christian living. She provides a fresh perspective and a new "biblical benchmark" that she now uses 

"for every hard question, big idea, topic, 
assessment of our own obedience, 
every "should" or "should not" and "will" or "will not" 
we ascribe to God, every theological sound bite.
Here it is:
If it isn't also true for a poor single Christian mom in Haiti, it isn't true."

This statement has the power to help the reader see the world as a whole, let go of some of the parts of life that we find ourselves arguing and debating over, and removes some of our own cultural ties and preferences that we apply to the gospel- since, clearly, Jesus saves lives across the world and across cultures. His mercy is endless, and we ought to be more aware of the immensity of 
His love for His people. 

This book is oozing with truth, backed by fundamental teachings of Jesus, but also busting with humor and wit in a way that only Jen can produce. To be clear, it's like going to brunch with a long-time friend that you haven't seen in 
a while-- covering topics from the fashion atrocity that is tights as pants, last night's Jimmy Fallon episode, the newest recipes to try, and a giant dose of
In-Your-Face-Let's-Live-Our-Lives-In-A-Real-Way-For-The-Love.

Just as women tend to bounce from topic to topic, Jen has laid out the content of this book in a way that just makes sense. Her authenticity is shown, and her understanding of the importance of community is enough to encourage even the most introverted person to share a smile, to share a meal, to share some humanity with anyone they meet. She repeatedly mentions this idea of finding your "tribe". She dedicates a chapter to an organic, filling, and purposeful gathering known as "Supper Club", in which, several friends(who were all strangers at one point in time) meet up for (you guessed it....supper). 
Often, we don't give enough credit to those around us, and something as simple as sharing a meal with others can provide something much richer 
than double chocolate brownies.
 Jen gets this.

The following chapter is devoted to the idea of maintaining community with those in your tribe. She states, "If Jesus is the heart of the church; people are the lifeblood. There is a reason He created community and told us to practice grace and love and camaraderie and presence.           
People soften the edges and fill in the gaps."
She talks about this natural craving that people have to be known, to be loved, and to feel like we belong. If that's what we crave, why not be that for someone else? Jen goes on to say,
"We give and get here. According to Jesus, the love of God and people is the substance of life."

There truly is something for everyone in this book. I am not a wife or a mom, but the topics and discussion points that Jen provides are useful and relevant for any life stage. If you're married, you can find solid advice on keeping that relationship strong, fun, and unified. If you're a parent, you can find permission to not be everything, do everything, and acquire everything. You don't even have to make dolphin shaped sandwiches for your kids. They'll survive. If you're trying to fight off a quarter life crisis, you'll be encouraged to find more meaningful things to exert your time, talents, and attention to. If you've been going to church all of your life, you'll find a fresh perspective on how to get along with your fellow church-goers, how to give your church leaders a break from that pedestal that we put them on, and, essentially, how to not be crappy Christians. If you've been hurt by the church, you'll find a sincere voice saying that you are known, loved, and accepted.

Sometimes people suck, but throughout the book, Jen draws us back to this notion of embracing the grace that has been given to us. In response, may we make a conscious effort to give out grace to our family, friends, neighbors, 
co-workers, and everyone that we encounter in this life.
Jen encourages,
"This is it. This is our one life. Let's go for it together."

If you haven't already ordered For The Love, 
I would definitely recommend that you do!
The book officially releases August 18, 2015.


Order online!
http://forthelovebook.com/


Check out the FTL book trailer on youtube!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjyZ91Z0nFs

Be Where You Are. Feel What You Feel.

Be where you are.
Feel what you feel.

Where you are is not an illusion,
and what you feel is quite real.
Poised and stoic,
it's the face you display
when the onlookers chime in
to say you shouldn't feel that way.
Be where you are.
Feel what you feel.

What if we all dropped the act
and embraced the totality of who we are,
instead of exhaustively overcompensating 

for where we have lacked?
Be where you are.
Feel what you feel.
What if we embraced 

the totality of who He is,
instead of trying to makes sense of it all?
Would life be but a vapor,
instead of an ongoing up-hill crawl?
Will we ever get that we're in this together?
Can we give ourselves permission
to come inside, out of the bad weather?
Be where you are.
Feel what you feel.

AEJ
4/14/15

Rooted in Fear, the Lies We Hear

How can we be effective in a world that's so infected?
Plagued with the worst case of animosity,
are we too self righteous to see what's right in front of us?
What's causing all the fuss?
Do we hide inside the warm confines of our religiosity,
claiming a solid truth, but too afraid to make a move,
so we just blame it on the youth
and call it a day in the life
of someone just trying to make it?
Rooted in fear, the lies that we hear,
the ones that say "You can't",
"You're not good enough",
and every seemingly compelling thought
that cripples and paralyzes the forward mover.
May we join together to cut the lies
that have tethered and bound.
Maybe, then, we can finally make some ground
and love like we should.
Would you join if you could?
If you could see the whole picture,
would you have faith for the fight,
or would fear, so entangling,
constantly keep strangling
and hushing the very voices
we need so desperately to hear?
May it be a soft whisper.
May it be a loud scream.
Whatever it takes,
awaken a spirit with permission to dream
beyond the day to day routine
and the happenstance interactions.
Imagine a world where the lies are replaced.
Imagine a world where we hand out
grace over grudges
and gratefulness over greed.
Reason with me,
when the lies that we hear,
the ones rooted in fear,
seem to never relent,
"He has not given us a spirit of fearfulness,
but one of power, love,
and sound judgment."

2 Tim. 1:7

AEJ 2/28/15

For What it's Worth

Common fallacy,
you see what you want to see.
Call it disillusionment,
but is it permanent,
this anger burning up inside your soul?
Get a wider lens, adjust the picture,
and see the whole.
Is it depravity that leads us to fight,
and to crave, and to desire?
Lord knows, we've all been burned by the fire
of someone's lies, or someone's pride,
or our own dignity.
How do you walk on, or sit down,
or fight the good fight
when no one will agree with what's wrong
and what's right?
If it's a moral code, let's get the facts straight.
I'm tired of your theories.
Your theories lack weight for such an argument
as the condition of the heart.
Why is there hate?
Why is there pain?
Why are there lies and trusts betrayed?
Can we get to the source?
Can we get to the cure?
Psychologists scratch their heads
while the media flashes more of the same.
What's the end game?
Can a person truly change
when history acts like a road map
to the same tired road?
Let me lighten that load.
It was never yours to bear.
Over coffee, a few will gather
to make sense of a world turned so cruel.
You can hear them try to reason,
and process, and explain it so neat and tidy.
It's Christmas, you know.
Let's not forget to wrap everything up and tie it with a bow.
That would be swell if only it was a permanent mend;
If every heartbreak would heal and every heartache would end.
If the colors of the season and the merriment and good tidings
could foster an exuberance for life that all could know,
we'd be a character of a Charles Dickens novel,
vowing to remember to spread cheer wherever we go.
The harsh reality is that sometimes even a smile is a hard thing to offer.
In a world so twisted can we cling to hope?
Would that help us cope?
Can we cling to a phrase sung out by choirs of angels,
echoing, "Peace on Earth"?
In view of His mercy, can we cling to what is good?
For what it's worth, it would be worth it if we could.

AEJ 12/22/14

Rejection of "The Self"

I tried to write my own story:
All the characters defined,
A perfect setting, a happy ending
All wrapped up and tied with a bow.
Isn't that how it's supposed to go?
A life considered marketable-
You can grab one right off the shelf.
Consumers stand in line,
Consumed with "The Self".
All shiny and neat,
just like everyone else,
Why help your neighbor
When you can help yourself?
But, it's so twisted,
The way we think we're so mighty-
Pristine castles, all clean and tidy
Until the tide rushes in and we're exposed
In the ruins of our homes made of sand.
"There's got to be a better way",
We all repeat as we head for drier land.
In the stillness, it hits me,
And my lips can not keep quiet.
His love runs deep and His grace is free.
We never have to buy it.
"There's got to be a better way!"
We say it like we mean it.
For clarity sake,
We're dealing with a monster.
It's the product of the lies we're told.
It's the little girl without a home
And the memory that haunts her.
It's the man who has to always win
Because his reputation is all that matters.
It's you and it's me,
Comparing what we have
As we climb Society's ladders.
It's strange, but I hear the echo now,
As if we've all had time to notice.
And, in my weakness, I cry out
"You are The One. You are The Way.
I'm the one in the way.
You are The One. You are The Way.
I'm the one in the way."
I kept my receipt.
I hope you'll let me return it.
"The Self" is a beast.
I'd rather live for The King.

AEJ 10/5/14

Far From Lackluster

Sometimes it takes some space
to see the worth in the mundane:
the seemingly lackluster
day to day deeds that evoke
a cringe, or a moan,
or a desire to be rescued.
Sometimes it takes some space
to evaluate the assessment
of your current state:
the overwhelmingly crippling thought
that your thoughts
have actually been skewed.
A little room to breathe
allows for a fresh assurance that
now is not forever.
Yet, we dig our feet in the ground
and just endure, as if this
is all we've got, and we think
we're so clever when we make excuses
to avoid the acceptance that
our tiny haphazard lives
were actually meant for more.
So, we hit the grind,
full speed ahead,
trying to find some sense of
attachment and worthwhile meaning
for our daily encounters,
but we still miss the point
at the end of the day.
Amongst ideas like
"Follow your passions" or
"Dream big", do we leave room
to simply trust and obey?
Limitations set aside,
can we thoroughly abide?
Could I jump ship,
knowing He will fully equip,
or could I stay the course;
would I stay on task,
if that is what He'd ask?
In the spirit of complexity,
how could I reduce
the one who made the stars
to a list of things
that I would or would not
be willing to try?
Far from lackluster, I can't deny,
yet, present in the mundane,
His plans are perfect.
He will forever reign.

AEJ 7/20/2014

Time Travel

The other day I was pondering the notion of time machines...
Someone's unrealistic devotion to be set into motion to a time other than now,
Begs me to question which tense, in all logical sense, would I prefer my existence?
Would you visit the past if you're still living in it?
Maybe, for the sake of closure and tact,
if you took a trip back, you could tie up some loose ends,
and make some amends.
Then, would you feel content to live in the present?
Presently, the future appears more intriguing.
Yet, how can you know what the future will hold?
Will it be bright and bold filled with all of the things
from all of the dreams you ever had hoped to see through to fruition?
Would you trust your intuition
to abandon the here and now for something not promised?
If life is but a breath, just breathe.
Breathe it all in while the world will still spin,
not trapped in the current because of where you've been,
and not too far ahead that you miss out on your surroundings.
With a cautious heart, hold on to what you know,
but with a fearless soul be ready to let all of that go.
Moments of trouble are great cause for digging in and finding your groundings.
Though, my foot was slipping and I cried out in distress, a hand lifted me up.
Now, I know where I stand.
Within reach of your hand, I live and move and breathe.
Like some great mysterious plan unraveling,
would it be too much of a stretch to accept
that maybe we are all made for far more than time traveling?

AEJ


Psalm 94:18, Acts 17:28, Hebrews 13:14

As Busy As You Choose To Be

You're as busy as you choose to be;
You're as free as you'll allow,
pleading to buy more time,
when the time is now.
Isn't it strange the way things change
when you see the grand scheme of it all?
Just as shadows prove there is still some light,
when your world goes dark,
do you have someone to call?
Have you burnt the last bridge?
Is this the last straw?
Your insecurity is bred by the lies your fed.
I'm as confident as the truth
that all of your strife and busyness
is just a sugar-coated "eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth."
Soon, you'll learn the significance and the peace of letting go,
and then you'll recognize the need to be more aware.
Someone else's world is crashing down,
will you be the one to care?
Remove self-doubt. Remove the need to control.
Time is of the essence when you see the kingdom here and now.
Here, in every heartbeat, in those who express a need,
and in those who don't know how.
I can feel it in my soul.
I can sense it in the eyes I've seen
as I look around.
If desperation had a face,
we would meet it anywhere we turn.
If we would return to grace,
then, how quickly we might learn!
You're as busy as you choose to be;
You're as free as you'll allow.

AEJ 5/1/2014